


"Forgive me."

by Grim_DarkPageOfVoidAndSpace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Gen, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 05:56:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grim_DarkPageOfVoidAndSpace/pseuds/Grim_DarkPageOfVoidAndSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a short one-shot. I chose to do some character exploration with Kanaya and some one-sided pale feelings she might have for Karkat. Also mentions of Rosemary. Follows somewhat along the most recent updates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Forgive me."

He is your best friend.

And despite the fact that you desire your relationship to be more, you accept. The thoughts of pale infatuation are submerged deep within. But like all things that sink, they resurface. Of course, you have so many obligations that those feelings are drowned, over and over.

It is difficult, but you manage. In time, it seemingly becomes easier to suppress the urges that plague your mind. 

Maybe it is your past experience that drives you to keep yourself at bay. Or maybe it is the fear of rejection, of losing the comfortable shell of friendship.

Then again, a lot has changed since these feelings began to swell in your chest. Your body can illuminate corridors, and you are now something between life and death. You have even taken a chance, in a different fashion. Leading the dance around the flushed quadrants and seeping deeper into saturated red. The same red that flows through the veins of your alien girlfriend. And you have taken up the role of caring for her, while she struggles with inhibiting beverages.

Every once in a while, your feelings resurface, despite your precautions. They slip through the cracks, and like vines coil themselves around your heart. And like a rose they bloom, releasing a plethora of emotions.

You don't admit to these feelings until it's too late. When you realize how you felt all along. It is a grim realization, and it happens when you watch the weapon puncture his small torso. When flickers of life leave his eyes, you feel it, somewhere deep in your chest. And you find it hard to breathe, though you have not used you lungs in years.  
It is a sensation that reaches beyond grief. Even if your heart were torn from your chest at this moment, the pain would never compare. And though you know the two of you never shared a pale bond, you can't help but feel responsible.  
You failed him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was pretty fun to write! Kanaya is my favorite troll, and I love trying to explore her character, and write about the way her mind works. I hope you all enjoyed it. Comments, critiques and suggestions are welcome.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
